The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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