I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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