did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
