My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
two words: eviction party
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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