I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
