Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
