Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
