Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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