so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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