i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
