I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
