I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
