He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
