and you said cock pushups were impossible
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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