Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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