i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
