K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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