I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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