What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
they need to just BURY HIM!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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