I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
