Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
