Grow some girl-balls and come out already
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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