So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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