I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
