I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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