if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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