He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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