Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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