Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
