anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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