they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
