There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
