you would pick up someone in the library
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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