There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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