so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
