Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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