is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
