I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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