I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
