I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
