I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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