This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
