I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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