Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
