Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
