He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
As shirtless as possible
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
