But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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