don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
