if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
