that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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