Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
