I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize