he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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