let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
