farters have to be the big spoon...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
