Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
