Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
