I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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