ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
